Unspectacular Drabbles
by Cartoonatic55
Summary: A much-delayed entry for E350's fourth Halloween Unspectacular contest. These aren't going to be very good, but I've been thinking about them too much, so here they are. The T rating is for chapter three due to it being much darker than the rest of this, but everything else is pretty much K-rated. Category's also changed.
1. Chapter 1: Moon

**_A/N: Hello, readers, and welcome to my response to E350's fourth Halloween Unspectacular challenge. I've pretty much given up on updating anything else since I don't think I've written anything that good, but as usual I had a few ideas in my head after he issued his challenge, so here it is. It's a bit later than I expected because of my horrid writer's block and a few other things, but I hope that I can at least finish this._**

**_Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Despicable Me._**

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**Chapter 1: Moon**

_"Mom, some day I will go to the moon!"_

Gru sat on his bed and looked out of his window to stare at the full moon while he thought over what he had told his mother not too long ago. Ever since he saw the first man land on the moon, he drew multiple blueprints for a rocket, made a prototype (and out of macaroni no less), and he even built a small model based on the prototype all to help him with his life's goal.

Despite all of this, his mother was hardly amused with his efforts, and as far as he could tell nobody else believed that he would be able to do it either. Usually things like that didn't bother him, as he was used to having others doubt him, but this time he couldn't help but wonder if they could be right. After all, it took a large group of scientists many years to figure out how to get a few men into space, and he was just one young boy. Maybe this time he was in over his head.

He turned his head away from the window and started to crawl underneath the covers. No, he couldn't allow himself to think like that. He refused to believe such a thing. So what if nobody else believed in him? That didn't mean that he couldn't believe in himself. He already built a small, working model of his rocket, so who was to say that he couldn't make a full-sized one to take him to the moon? As he slowly closed his eyes and started to drift off to sleep, he kept telling himself that it didn't matter to him how long it would take for him to finally get there just as long as he did it. That way, he could prove them all wrong.

Many years later, he did just that.

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**_A/N: Yeah, sorry, this is way shorter than I originally planned, but I think I've been stuck on it for far too long. The next one should be longer, though._**


	2. Chapter 2: Cave

_**A/N: Thanks to those of you who reviewed the first chapter. :) I'd do my usual review replies thing, but I'm afraid that I'm really pressed for time right now and I'm already worried that I won't be able to finish this. Sorry, but I hope you understand.**_

**_Anyway, _**_**I'm feeling really dumb right now because I forgot that "Cave" came before "Cold" so I worked on my entry for the latter word for the last few days until I checked it again due to completely forgetting what the last word was. :\ Oh well, this one was pretty random and the third one's probably gonna be the longest one of these anyway, so maybe that's a good thing.**_

_**Disclaimer: There is no way that I own Batman, let alone this version/incarnation of it (2004 show, because I'm lame and unfamiliar with most others). Given some of my experiences with some of the (anti-)fanbase, I don't think I'd want to own the rights to it, either.**_

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**Chapter 2: Cave**

"Whaddya think the Bat-Cave is like, Pengsy?"

The short, well-dressed redhead shifted his attention away from the perched owl that he was looking over and gave Harley Quinn a quizzical stare. "Why are you asking? It's not like I've been in there before."

"I know that, silly," the clown girl chuckled, "but I want to know what you _think_ it looks like. You know, use your imagination."

"Why do you want to know what I think it looks like?"

"Curiosity," she answered, shrugging as she did.

Penguin rolled his eyes and sighed. "You're not gonna leave me alone until I do this, are you?"

Quinn, still smiling at him, shook her head. "Nope."

"I thought so," he mumbled. He turned around to face her and then tried to think of how to answer her question. It was strange; he'd occasionally thought about it a few times before, but he never actually expected anyone else to ask him about it. "Well, it'd have to be pretty big in order to keep stuff like his Batmobile in there."

"Well of course, but do you think it's a real cave, or do you think that's just what he calls his secret lair that's really just some building he has somewhere?"

He scoffed. "Knowing him, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a real cave."

"With stalactites and stalagmites?"

"Possibly, though not too many since-"

"And real bats in it?"

"Maybe there were a few in it at one time or another, but-"

"If it's a real cave, then where do you think he keeps all of his weapons and gadgets?"

"Are you going to let me finish?" he asked in annoyance.

"Sorry," she replied sheepishly. "I guess I just got a little too excited."

Penguin rose an eyebrow at her. "Excited? Over what? You find this conversation exciting?"

Quinn shrugged. "Well, no, but... I guess I'm just glad that you're finally talking to me. I mean, you and I hardly see each other, let alone talk, so having you talk about something with me is kinda interesting."

Penguin placed a hand on his chin and thought about it for a moment. "Huh, you're right. For the few times we've met, we've hardly ever said anything to each other."

"Exactly; usually we're always up to something and end up being too busy to stop and do anything...well, normal." She paused. "Well, as normal as anything involving people like us can get anyway."

"Right... but why bring up the Bat-Cave, though?"

Quinn smiled and gave a small shrug. "Why not? It got your attention, didn't it?"

Penguin nodded and ended up smiling back at her. "That it did."

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_**A/N: ...This ended in a completely different way from how I originally thought it would. (This was going to be slightly longer, but like I said, I'm pressed for time and really there was little else to write.) How does that keep happening?**_

_**The next chapter should be ready soon, and just a heads-up, it's gonna be a bit darker than the rest of these. It'll be the odd one out in that respect.**_


	3. Chapter 3: Cold

**_A/N: _****_I had a couple of different ideas for this chapter, but after my mind had been unexpectedly focused on a certain movie, I gave up on all of those (and almost didn't enter the contest entirely) and they all ended up being replaced with this. That may be for the best since one idea was a bit too similar to the second chapter I made for last year's contest._**

**_Disclaimer: It'd be really silly if someone thought that I somehow owned the rights to the Felix the Cat movie. I don't even have a copy of it on video._**

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**Chapter 3: Cold**

Wack Lizardi felt an unsettling chill run down his spine. He knew that he should've been used to it by now as he had felt such things for months, but he never seemed to become accustomed to feeling cold. Perhaps that was just part of being a reptile.

The mutated middle-aged creature rubbed his clawed hands against the sleeves of his tattered brown coat as he gazed over at one of Progress City's many buildings, or at least what was left of it. Like most everything else in the city, it wasn't built too well and now that there weren't any Zillians or robots to at least make an attempt at repairing any of the damages, it was now starting to fall apart. The very thought of this city left him with an empty feeling inside, reminding him of how alone he was after that damn cat ruined his circus. Of course it was partially his fault for not suspecting that something could possibly go wrong with having said cat perform with his magic bag alongside the princess, his most valuable prisoner, but he was much too proud to consider that he was to blame.

As much as he despised Felix for what he did, it was hardly the only thing he thought about when it came to the events of that dreadful day. He had a lot of questions about it that he couldn't answer, namely the one involving how he managed to survive after falling for who knows how many stories and causing his own circus to collapse on everyone that was inside of it. By all accounts he should be dead like all of those unfortunate Zillians who had attended that day's show, and yet here he was months later, still breathing and just barely getting by. That also led him to wonder how he managed to make a full recovery so quickly after that. Sure, he felt like he had many broken bones as well as plenty of internal damage, and he did suffer for quite some time afterwards, but after a couple of days he felt fine for the most part. It wasn't like he was one of the duke's robots that could somehow continue to function even years after they had taken some physical damage and were deemed "useless", he was a living creature that somehow managed to live longer than most other Zillians did even before the accident (though he hadn't really thought much of that until now).

Oh yes, the duke's robots.

Wack sat down on the cold, hard ground, not noticing the concerned squeaks that his living whip/stick-pet (which he was also surprised to find was alright) had made as he did. He remembered that the robots the Duke of Zill had them make suddenly disappeared shortly after the whole Felix incident took place. It always puzzled him as to how it happened since he had no idea how that was even possible, but now that he thought about it, there were other things involving the robots that didn't quite add up. The duke had told him that some of the cylinders would help him and his fellow Zillians whenever they required their assistance, but if that were true then why didn't he see any of them even trying to save him or anyone else that had attended his circus the day it collapsed? Zillians may have had relatively weaker bodies in comparison to humans such as those in Oriana, but surely there must have been at least _one_ other person who had managed to survive if he and his pet were able to just barely survive it. At the time he assumed that the duke had them all tracking down Felix and the princess, but if that were true then he wouldn't have seen any of them still hanging about in Progress City, would he? Shouldn't those that remained there have tried to assist anyone who was injured in that accident? Why didn't at least one robot make an attempt to help him while he was still in pain? Did the Duke of Zill lie to them?

He leaned back against the remains of a wall and thought it over. He didn't want to believe such a thing, especially since the duke had helped him and many others like him become capable of things they had never even thought of, but the more he thought over these things, the more he questioned the duke and his loyalty to the Zillians that helped him. The Duke of Zill had also promised that he would conquer the land of Oriana for their occupation and then have them move away from Progress City into what they had come to think of as the promised land. Considering that the princess of Oriana had gotten rid of her army, everyone assumed that it would be easy for the duke to take over her kingdom and that it wouldn't be long until they could move away from their smog-filled wasteland. Well, part of that turned out to be correct: the duke had absolutely no trouble taking over the kingdom of Oriana, but other than sending over Princess Oriana to be an imprisoned performer for his circus, they never got word about when anyone would be able to leave for their new home. He couldn't help but wonder if the duke was only using them for his own selfish purposes all along and was never planning on returning for them.

This realization hit Wack like a ton of bricks. Had he been supporting a lost cause all this time? Yes, the Duke of Zill was successful in taking over Oriana, but he always thought that the duke would at least do something to repay their loyalty to him. They were the ones who helped him make most if not all of his robots, most of which he used in his conquest. He wanted to believe that the duke was eventually going to come back for them to give them a better life, but now he was becoming more upset the more he thought about how the duke used them and then left them as if they meant nothing to him. It was very clear that the Zillians trusted their duke, and he probably trusted him the most out of all of them. It wasn't easy for him to earn the duke's trust, as he had to force himself through tasks such as fighting untamed swamp creatures that were ten times his size with his bare hands and learning how to speak, read and write the duke's language, something that not all Zillians could do, but he went through with it, all the while hoping that something better was in store for him once it was all said and done. True, he didn't mind being the ringleader of a circus, but he couldn't keep doing that forever; he was getting too old for it and wanted to move on. As one of the duke's most trusted assistants, he figured that he should've at least been told when he would be able to move up in the ranks and perhaps even work alongside the duke himself, but now it was all too clear that just was not going to happen no matter what he did. The thought that all of his hard work was just a waste of time left him with a cold, hollow feeling inside.

The sickly-green reptilian placed a hand on his stomach and was slowly starting to shut his green eyes to drift off to sleep when he suddenly felt a strange, shocking sensation run through his entire body. This caused Wack to immediately sit up straight and widen his eyes. He wasn't sure as to what it was he just felt, but it caused him to be wide awake and alert, almost like something was telling him that his life was in danger. He wasted no time in getting up onto his feet and, not knowing what else he could do at the moment, ran for cover in one of the few buildings that had its roof and most of its walls still in tact. Admittedly it wasn't the best cover he could find, but it would do for the time being. As he tried his best to hide, he noticed something- or rather, someone- moving in the distance. He almost wanted to stick his head out to get a better look at whoever it was, but his long snout would probably give him away. Regardless, he did manage to hear an unfamiliar voice break the uneasily quiet atmosphere of the broken-down city.

"I honestly don't understand why you insisted on coming back to this- this _filthy_ place, sir," said the unseen stranger.

"Quiet, you half-wit! I felt something here the moment I set foot in this ragged pile of crud, and I have every intention of weeding out whatever it was that gave me that feeling."

Wack's eyes widened further. He knew exactly whose voice **_that_ **was.

The other voice spoke up again. "Yes, yes, you've already explained that to me when you and I started discussing your new plans and you mentioned coming back here first, but what I want to know is if you felt this feeling years before when you first arrived here, then why didn't you, how do you say... _take care_ of things back then? Wouldn't it have been just as easy if not easier to have rid yourself of this nuisance before you took over Oriana?"

"Perhaps, but at the time my plans for Oriana were more important than this, and beheading one of those creatures would not be the best idea if I wanted to have them all assist me, now would it?"

"Er, uh-"

"Precisely! Now shut up."

Wack had heard enough. It didn't matter to him if the two outsiders had any more to say to each other that could explain exactly what was going on, he knew that it was more important for him to get out of there as fast as he could if he valued his life. He was worried that either the duke or the stranger who was with him might have spotted him turning tail and fleeing, but unless the stranger that was with him was an excellent runner, neither one would be able to catch him (the duke was good at many things, but running was certainly not one of them). Only once did he briefly look back to see if he had been caught, but to his luck, they seemed to be oblivious to him. He ran past nearly all of the crumbling structures of the city and dashed as far as he could until finally stopped to catch his breath. When he first stopped running, he was too busy taking deep breaths and tugging his slightly tightened bowtie away from his neck to notice exactly where he was. It shouldn't have mattered, just as long as he had put enough distance between himself and the duke, but now that he was breathing normally again, he decided to take a look around.

Wack was back at his old circus.

The moment he realized where he was, he wanted to fall onto his knees and scream in frustration and agony, but he knew better than to do that. Instead he stared sadly at what was once the best part of his life, or at least what remained of it. He subconsciously walked over to where the stage once was and looked around, pretending for a moment that he was back up on the stage and loudly announcing which act was up next to a rowdy yet eager audience. For a moment, he smiled, but his little fantasy didn't last long. A gentle breeze that gave him chills reminded him of the harsh reality he had to deal with in the present, as well as the potential danger he was in at that moment.

His smile slowly faded as he looked down at the ground and slowly turned his hands into fists. Now was not the time for him to be thinking about that. He had to prepare himself for the one he once helped who was now after him. He was already trying to think of a plan as swiftly and quietly dashed away from the stage and tried to find the way to the one place where he now kept his old collection of various whips and other weapons. While he was proud to admit that he could still fight off a creature much larger than himself despite no longer being in his prime, he was in no way ready to fight the duke right now. No, he had to take his time to get ready to fight him and avenge not only himself, but all of those Zillians he had lied to for so long. He knew that it may take him a long time to finally become ready to face him, but if he could become strong and skilled enough to take him on and defeat him, then it would be more than worth all of the trouble and pain he had already gone through.

After all, it was like what the Duke of Zill once told him: revenge is a dish best served cold.

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**_A/N: ...I think I may have strayed quite a ways away from the initial word, but I have been dwelling on this for a couple of weeks now, so I'm just glad I got it out of my system._**

**_I'll leave it up to your imagination as to what will transpire between Wack and the Duke of Zill if/when they run into each other. Personally I like to think that there'll be a fight that ends with the Duke's helmet being taken off and Wack defeating him Highlander style, but that involves a really stupid fan-theory of mine that I just so happened to imply in this 'shot (long theory short: Oriana's immortals are slightly different from the ones in the Highlander franchise, but the basic rules still apply for the most part). Well, that and a bias towards Wack of course. :P_**

**_Hopefully I'll post the last chapter soon, otherwise I think I'm pretty much screwed._**


	4. Chapter 4: Chess

_**A/N: H**__**ere's the last one, as promised. I hope it's not too late. If it is... well, nuts to me, I'm posting it anyway. :P Sorry if this one's boring, but it was the first thing that popped into my head when I remembered what the last word was.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to SpongeBob SquarePants. If I did own it, I'm not sure whether I'd consider that a good thing or a bad thing.**_

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**Chapter 4: Chess**

SpongeBob quietly snuck his way into Sandy's treedome, hoping to catch the squirrel off-guard. He hid behind the tree and quietly peeked around it to see that she was still sitting at her picnic table with her back to him, unaware of his presence. He slipped on his red karate gloves and tiptoed halfway over to the table, but before he could make his move, he noticed that there was something on the table. Curious, he walked the rest of the way over to the table until he was right behind her and peeking over her shoulder to see what it was. Now he had put karate to the back of his mind as he wondered something aloud.

"What is that?"

His question was met with a green karate glove in the face that hit him with such force that it slammed him back against the tree before he knew for sure what hit him.

"Whoops! Sorry, SpongeBob!" Sandy shouted as she threw her gloves off, ran over to her now-dizzy friend and helped him get back onto his feet. "You okay?"

"Uh, I've had worse I guess," he answered, holding one gloved hand up to his forehead as he did. Sandy led him over to her picnic table and he sat opposite of her.

"I figured you were trying to sneak up on me for another karate match."

"I was, but-" SpongeBob cut himself short when he noticed the thing on the table again. His dizziness now gone, he saw that it was a simple wooden box with the word "Chess" etched onto it. He laughed. "Sandy, that's not how you spell 'cheese'!"

She rose and eyebrow in confusion before she looked at the box that had now caught the sponge's attention. "Oh," she chuckled. "No, silly; it's chess."

"Chess? What's a chess?"

"You're kidding. You've never heard of chess before?"

SpongeBob shook his head. "What's it taste like?"

Sandy chuckled again. "It's not something you eat; it's a game. Here, I'll show ya." She opened up the lid of the box and took out the board, followed by the black and white pieces. Once she was done arranging the pieces on the board, she looked over at SpongeBob and gestured at the board. "This is how it's set up; pawns at the front, everything else in the back."

"If those are pawns, then what are the rest of these called?"

"These little tower-like pieces in the corners here are called rooks," she explained, pointing at the pieces on her side of the board as she did. "These horses that are next to them are called knights-"

"Why are they called knights?"

"Pardon?"

"How come the knights in this game are horses? I mean knights are supposed to be guys who are covered in armor and fight other knights with swords and other weapons like that. I know that some of them ride horses, but it's kinda silly for the knights to be horses, unless the horses are knights. Can horses be knighted?"

"Well- Look, I don't know why the pieces look the way they do. Maybe it'd be too hard for them to make pieces that look like armor."

"But they can make a horse's head?"

Sandy sighed. "May I continue, please?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

"Okay, now these pieces next to the knights are called bishops, and then there are two different ones; the left one is the queen, and the right one is the king. Are you with me so far?"

SpongeBob nodded. "The horse head as a knight thing still seems kinda silly to me, but I get it."

"Alright, now let's talk about how they move." She picked up one of her pawns and moved it forward two spaces. "Pawns can only move forward unless there's something to their left or right in the row in front of them, then they can bump off whichever piece that is."

"So if there's something in front of a pawn and nothing to the left or right ahead of it, then it can't move?"

"Nope."

"That seems rather inconvenient for these little guys," he mused as he picked up one of his pawns and looked at it.

"Yeah, but if they're lucky and they make their way to the back row, they can be promoted to either a rook, a knight, a bishop, or a queen."

SpongeBob whistled. "That's one heck of a promotion."

"Yep. Now-"

"Why can't they become a king?"

"Because you're only allowed to have one king."

"You can have only one king but more than one queen? That seems kinda weird."

"I...I guess it is, if you think of it that way. Anyway, the rooks can move-"

"They can _move_?"

"Yeah. What'd ya think they were there for, to look pretty?"

"No, but how can a tower move? I mean I've heard that there's a moving castle somewhere, but-"

"SpongeBob," Sandy sighed in frustration.

"Sorry. Go on."

"As I was saying, the rooks move either horizontally or vertically. Now the knights move in an 'L' shape, and they're the only ones who can jump over their own teammates."

"Why?"

"Because, um... Because horses can jump, I guess."

"Well I can understand how the rooks wouldn't be able to do that since towers can't jump, but kings, queens and bishops can, can't they?"

"Yeah, but humans ain't as athletic as horses, are they?"

SpongeBob paused and thought over for a moment. "Okay, you've got a good point there," he finally admitted. "Continue."

"Right, now speaking of bishops, they can move diagonally-"

"But only if there's an opponent in the row ahead of them and either to their left or right, right?"

"No, SpongeBob; that's just for the pawns."

"Oh. Oops."

"It's okay. Now the queen can move horizontally, vertically, or diagonally."

"Wow! So what about the king? Can he move in any way he wants?"

"I guess you could say that. He can move one space in any direction he can."

SpongeBob rose an eyebrow at this. "What? He can only move one space? What good does _that_ do?"

Sandy shrugged. "I guess whoever made this game figured that all of the other pieces do enough that they didn't need to make the king seem so overpowered. Anyway, it's better than not moving at all."

"I guess that's true."

"Now there are a couple of other moves you could do, but I think I've covered most of the basic ones. The object of the game is to outmaneuver your opponent to the point where their king can't move anywhere without one of your pieces defeating him. Think you've got all of that?"

"I think so," SpongeBob answered as he looked over his pieces. "So this is a game where the pawns are useless when there's someone directly in front of them but they can be promoted to either a castle, a horse head, a religious person, or even royalty, the two towers on each side can move but they can't jump, the horse heads that have been knighted _can_ jump while nobody else can, there can be multiple queens yet there can be only one king, said king can move even less than the pawns, and you win when you find a way to successfully assassinate your opponent's king. Is that about right?"

Sandy slapped her forehead and groaned. "Do you want to play checkers instead?"

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_**A/N: ...How the heck did I manage to mention Howl's Moving Castle in there? I've never even seen that movie. :/**_

_**Anyway, that's it. At this point I don't really mind if I win the contest or not, I'm just glad that I managed to finish this. I hope some of you enjoyed at least one of these.**_


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